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Spinning is not a do-over type of endeavor. Once that twist is set, it seems virtually impossible to undo and then re-do. For example, as I’m learning to spin different fibers, I have a habit of becoming enamored with the feel of the fiber. That tactile experience leads to me imagining what I’m going to knit with it. Then word association kicks in, and the next thing you know I’m daydreaming random unrelated dreams.

That is when it happens. My attention is elsewhere, and my beautiful evenly spun-single-soon-to-be-plied-laceweight yarn has become, shall we say, a few inches of novelty yarn. Do I go back and try to untwist it? Is a do-over possible at this point? Is it wise to attempt it? Because experimentation is part of the learning process, I have attempted this. In my limited experience, the fiber, if I can get it untwisted, just isn’t the same as when it is plied “fresh.” It looks a bit worn, dull, and doesn’t quite lay right. I think it is best to continue forward and appreciate that bit of novelty spinning for what it is - a mistake, a moment when I spun flubby yarn, but beautiful when looked at by itself away from the laceweight. Do I regret the mistake? Of course, the result was not the intended outcome. Can I learn to appreciate the mistake? Definitely! There is always something to learn. In this case, how to make a thicker, nubbier single. Did I pull myself back on track? Yes.

The ability to pull myself back on track and move forward is probably the most important lesson learned from making a mistake. In life there are, of course, no do-overs. We can only do better. You can’t take back what you say or turn back time and undo what you’ve done. You can, however, make amends by acknowledging your mistake and doing better. You can move forward having learned and try to improve. Mistakes will be made in the future, but you can be comforted by the knowledge you have gained and the security that you know how to recover and pull yourself back on track.

In the future, you will know how to do better.

Recently, I’ve been rebuilding my life - making the changes that will help me live to up to my potential. It’s been slow. It is very easy to revert back to the comfort zone, even when that comfort zone was a source of great unhappiness, because forging ahead into the unknown can be even more uncomfortable. Experiment is unsettling. This is what the past year and the forthcoming year are - an experiment.

The most profound change of the last year was a change in location and job. I moved far away to an incredibly beautiful but remote area of the United States and started a freelance career. I would like to say from day one it was all a success. That would be a lie. It has been an extremely difficult transition at times, but there have been moments like today for which I feel very grateful.

To feel true contentment, you have to really connect with the moment. This can be very painful when you lack security - physical, financial, emotional, etc. Today, however, I am connected through simple, domestic acts. As I write this I have organic garbanzo beans simmering on the stove, which will later become part of a Santa Fe Chowder. This menu item was chosen as the weekly soup because it’s flavors will balance the neverending winter currently experienced in the Northeast. After I finish this post, I will tidy up my office and studio. I have errands to run later in the day - all on foot. It is overcast with periods of rain, but I think I will take along my camera since, ironically, this can be some of the best light to photograph the landscape at this time of the year. I have research to complete and then more to begin. I think I’ll stop by the library to view the art exhibition that went up last weekend. I’ll talk with some of the new friends I’ve made at the library when I settled into this very small community.

Later, I’ll hang some curtain rods, finish the soup, knit for a while, spin some yarn, and write a query letter to send away tomorrow.

When this day is done, and I’m tucked securely in my bed, I’ll know that later I won’t remember the specifics of this day. My goodnight wish will be that in the future I’ll be able to recall the contentment I felt today and that the memory will sustain me through moments of uncertainty.

My beautiful Ashford Traditional with double treadle kit.

Well, it’s not exactly here here. It’s more like 20 miles away at the woman who sells the wheels - and I don’t have a car. This is going to take some thinking (probably some begging, too) to find my way there.

So, you may be wondering why I don’t have a car. I lived for years in a major metropolitan city where an automobile was more of a hindrance than a help, and I learned to love not having a car. No car payments, insurance or repairs. It only becomes an incovenience when my wheel is 20 miles away, and I can’t find anyone who is going in that direction.

I’m keeping the faith, however, and hoping I can find a ride.

I’m waiting for my camera to charge up, and will upload photos of my most recent projects soon.

Meanwhile, this is what I’ve been up to:

After years (and years and years) of wanting to learn to spin my own yarn, I’ve been able to rent a wheel and learn a bit about this wonderful fiber craft. Words are not sufficient to illustrate my obsession with spinning. It takes all of my self-control (and I’m weak!!!) not to drop everything I’m doing and sit at my wheel spinning. The irony is not lost on me that centuries ago this was work - hard work - with the meager proceeds on which people struggled to survive. Now it’s a leisure activity and a distraction from the work that provides me with my meager proceeds.

I’ve joined a local spinning group, which meets every other week. Knowing that I’ll get an afternoon of spinning guaranteed twice a month helps me get my obligatory tasks done. As it is, I’ve given myself the hours between the after-dinner washing up and bedtime to devote to my spinning projects. I go into my office, put a book on cd in the computer, and spin, spin, spin.

I realize that keeping my wheel in my office is needless temptation during the day, but I’m an adult (sometimes). I can control myself! (…most of the time)