Recently, I’ve been rebuilding my life - making the changes that will help me live to up to my potential. It’s been slow. It is very easy to revert back to the comfort zone, even when that comfort zone was a source of great unhappiness, because forging ahead into the unknown can be even more uncomfortable. Experiment is unsettling. This is what the past year and the forthcoming year are - an experiment.
The most profound change of the last year was a change in location and job. I moved far away to an incredibly beautiful but remote area of the United States and started a freelance career. I would like to say from day one it was all a success. That would be a lie. It has been an extremely difficult transition at times, but there have been moments like today for which I feel very grateful.
To feel true contentment, you have to really connect with the moment. This can be very painful when you lack security - physical, financial, emotional, etc. Today, however, I am connected through simple, domestic acts. As I write this I have organic garbanzo beans simmering on the stove, which will later become part of a Santa Fe Chowder. This menu item was chosen as the weekly soup because it’s flavors will balance the neverending winter currently experienced in the Northeast. After I finish this post, I will tidy up my office and studio. I have errands to run later in the day - all on foot. It is overcast with periods of rain, but I think I will take along my camera since, ironically, this can be some of the best light to photograph the landscape at this time of the year. I have research to complete and then more to begin. I think I’ll stop by the library to view the art exhibition that went up last weekend. I’ll talk with some of the new friends I’ve made at the library when I settled into this very small community.
Later, I’ll hang some curtain rods, finish the soup, knit for a while, spin some yarn, and write a query letter to send away tomorrow.
When this day is done, and I’m tucked securely in my bed, I’ll know that later I won’t remember the specifics of this day. My goodnight wish will be that in the future I’ll be able to recall the contentment I felt today and that the memory will sustain me through moments of uncertainty.